You just made me feel so damn special
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Randomize
