my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize