If i come over, it means nothing
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
