Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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