your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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