Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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