another moral hangover. fuck.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I need moral support for this bender
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
