STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
