that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
