Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
