Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Randomize
