im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
