I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
