U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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