Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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