At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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