thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
