You work out of a Hotel?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
