none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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