you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
This is my gift to your gina
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
we should paint friendship bongs
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
