I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
