There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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