They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
