I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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