I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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