What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
