It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Less talking, more tequila
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
