nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
