So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
