tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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