The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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