You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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