WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
