Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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