I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
