Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
