Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
