some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
