When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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