I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
