i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
