This is not my ceiling
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
