fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
