That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
