Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
