i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
