would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
