I must be too annoying 4 u.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
