if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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