you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
