just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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