new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
