why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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