I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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