remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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