And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So many bounce houses so little time
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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