And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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