I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
FUCK WHALES
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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