Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Even my vagina gasped.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
