the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
