Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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