We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
