How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
