sorry about calling you the devil all night.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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