Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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