Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
