I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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