Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
